My Kenyan Opinion

 COVID-19 WINNERS

As much as Covid-19 continues to have severe effects on Kenyans, it has positive effect on us. As I write this article, Kenyans being Kenyans, I know my opinion may spark a debate where some may oppose others may support while others may contribute towards. Depending on how you look at it, some groups have emerged winners during the pandemic.

I believe a majority of Kenyans will agree with when I say that the Wives are the most beneficiaries of the pandemic. To better I understand my point of view, let me take you through how the lives of many Kenyan wives was before coronavirus.

It all begins by young beautiful lady standing out from the crowd whether in college, work or at cousin weddings and catching the eye of that young handsome confused bachelor who may or may not know what he wants to do with his future. After months of courting and playing hand to get, the young woman falls in love and submits to the charms of this young man (anaingia box). The two become instant love birds: they start spending time together side by side, the young woman stamp her authority as the main chic as they begin to appear many social gatherings holding hands to the envy of many. Jealous singles say ni muda tu waachane (its only short-period they will separate), and the exes trying to state the negative characteristics of their former lovers mate to show how better they are than them, while the genuine guys shower them with praise and blessings. Soon the couple get married the Kenyan style (come we stay), when the lady slowly moves in with her boyfriend. Within no time, the lady becomes pregnant or the official marriage process begins for the few. Now everybody start to play their role as husband and wife in the young family. The husbands goes to work for the good life of his family while the modern wife go to work, while some stay at home to care for the family. Trouble starts when the husband starts to go out with his boys club soon as the wife start complaining everyday about what the husband is not doing. The intimacy starts to fade away slowly and sex becomes a thing of the past. Some women use sex as a weapon to get what they want. Since the wife has groomed her husband well, he starts attracting slay queens and within no time mpango wa Kwando or number anaingia. (Note: whether the husband or wife starts pushing the other way, the cycle is almost the same). The husband rarely spends time with his wife and children, always coming home late and at times not coming at all. Here were agree to disagree, many of the wives are faithful and stay at home crying everyday with loneliness, caring for the children and cooking for the husband who is never at home. They always pray asking God to change their husbands to the men they once fell in love with but feel like their plea falls on deaf ears. This becomes the trend in many marriages where the husband rarely spends time with his family either drinking, or with a mpango wa kando while the wife stays at home with the children.

With that in mind, Covid-19 is here, many people have lost their jobs while others have been forced to work at home. Further, the president issues a curfew and a county lockdown. The husband who never saw the natural light in his house, always coming home not later than 12midnight now has to come early, now have to be at by 7pm and to some have to work at home while others have lost their jobs or biasharas. Amen to the women prayers, their husbands back at home to help with the childrens homework, among other things. I almost forgot, the government bans all social gatherings including bars, what a bonus for the women, mzee is not only home early but sober. This means more funds for the house kitty. For those with mpango wa kandos, they rarely get time even to call them because now they are always at home. The wife now dictate the terms in the house, saying all she had wish to say and doing all she had been praying for with the husbands. As the coronavirus pandemic continues, with the salary cuts or job loss and lack of time, the husbands starts to cut costs in the house and mpango wa kando is the first to be let go. The wives sleepless nights and tears are finally being wiped off as the slay queens, number two park their bags na kurudi since the husband cannot afford to pay for their houses anymore. Changes start to take place, when men start going for house shopping in the market and to some like one of my friends told me about his neighbors buy a replace their worn out items like an old matress the husband husband was too drunk to notice. After the house getting a makeover, the wife start getting one as well where the husbands start buying gifts for them among other treats and surprise. Within no time, intimacy is back in the couples lives.

For those who are not lucky when they lose their jobs, money starts becoming a problem for them. On the other hand, their wives who have been saving now have money. To make matters, I do not know whether it is the devil or it is God, it is the wives turn in their chamas to receive the money. The husband who was never at home, rarely left money at home to squander with his boys club or mpango wa kando at the expense of their family, is now at home not by choice but circumstance to their once poor wives now rich. Talk of Karma or is it revenge. I believe you can agree with me that even though the man, who now has his tail tucked in between his legs, may be forgiven (for the lucky few), the words that comes from the wives and the smiles echoes the sound of victory.

With Covid-19, the days when husbands would walk away as soon as their wives would start complaining to some extend some yelling during a confrontation are now over. The husbands have to stay and listen to everything like men as they avoid bitter confrontation in front of their children. The wives who once cried the whole night now have their husband cooking for them romantic dinners. As the husbands become those men their wives fell in love with, it turns out that their prayers were not falling on deaf ears. The only problem is that they never asked for coronavirus to come with their prayer requests.

Parting Shot

For the many husbands and prospective husbands, when the country opens up after coronavirus, do not take your wives and children for granted. Despite the going getting tough at times, your families, specifically your wives, need your presence in the house. Spend more time with them listening and doing activities with each other. No matter where you go, in times of happiness and sadness, your wives will always be there with you. Treat them with the respect they deserve, treat them like the queens to your throne. Learn to solve your differences by facing them like men rather than running away as soon as they start. Those children need a father figure in the house to guide them through your presence not just by your name or money. Let us learn from our past mistakes and the changes affecting us during this time to become better husbands and fathers. Most of all, never forget these moments when everything gets back to normal.  Although Covid-19 is a deadly virus, it has given you an opportunity to save your families.

For the many wives, God has answered your prayers, please use this opportunity to maintain your husbands in the houses and don’t create hell for them. If you do, just like the way God has answered your prayers, He will answer their requests of opening doors for them to run as far from you as they can. As painful it might be, forgive them for the many wrongs they have done and remember you are not perfect as well as played a hand in pushing them away. Take this opportunity not to shout or complain to your husbands, but to talk to them in a civilized manner to solve your difference. Even if the money is becoming scarce, appreciate them for the efforts they are making to provide for the family. Instead of disrespecting them, treat them as Kings. Sex is not a weapon but sweet fruit to be always enjoyed by the two of you and bring you closer together.

For the couple, it will not be smooth always, but toiling the difficulties together will always bring you closer together when you succeed. Take this opportunity positively and mend fences rather settling scores. Do not waste this chance coronavirus has given; instead, reinforce your connection. Most of all, take this as a learning opportunity and never forgetting it.